


You make me feel alive

by alien_muse



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Awkward Conversations, I bet Crowley really wishes he'd have better contol of his tongue, M/M, Other, Queerplatonic Relationships, speaking-wise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 12:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20425799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alien_muse/pseuds/alien_muse
Summary: "You make me feel alive."The words Crowley hadn't planned to say took quite a few seconds to sink in. People seemed to suddenly stop their empty chattering, silence fell around them, making the words even more distinct, even more important. He hadn't meant it like this, whatever the meaning was that made Aziraphale freeze with a dessert spoon on the way to his mouth and stare. Crowley stared back, like a thief caught red-handed, squeezing his fingers onto himself.





	You make me feel alive

**Author's Note:**

> fill on №75 from this [list of drabble suggestions](https://mymiscfandomimagines.tumblr.com/post/165227911567/drabble-list-2)

"You make me feel alive."

The words Crowley hadn't planned to say took quite a few seconds to sink in. People seemed to suddenly stop their empty chattering, silence fell around them, making the words even more distinct, even more important. He hadn't meant it like this, whatever the meaning was that made Aziraphale freeze with a dessert spoon on the way to his mouth and stare. Crowley stared back, like a thief caught red-handed, squeezing his fingers onto himself.

They were looking at each other for an uncomfortable time before Crowley coughed and rushed to explain, averting his eyes.

"I mean. Not that I feel dead all the other times, y'know," he mentally cursed himself for blurting out something as cheesy as this and without any context like his head was full of fuzzy pink clouds at any given time, especially if that time was with a certain angel. "'s just... Six thousand years-" Yes, good job, Crowley, make it sound as if you were pining for him all this time, "- I was on Earth, pretending to be human, right? Or at least living among them."

Aziraphale's blue eyes were on him, attentive as ever, while the angel nodded and finally put a spoon in his mouth.

The gesture calmed Crowley a bit. Things were slowly returning back to normal. Now he only had to explain what he meant which was going to be a non-literal hell because Crowley himself had no idea. He just stared at Aziraphale's lips that had a custard trace on them, felt something and blurted out the first thing on his mind.

"Doing my job, tempting and all that. Enjoyed it, alright; moving around, changing, meeting new people. But not really alive." Crowley blushed. Fuck, he was making so little sense.

The angel smiled reassuringly and he tried again.

"When I sleep, it's just nothin'. Like being dead but self-aware. Calm... nothingness." He swallowed at Aziraphale's worry line getting deeper and tried to get the point across. "When I live through the centuries without any anchor, it's the same. The life spread so thin I can barely feel it," Crowley's speech sped up, he felt like he almost captured the image. "But when you're in it, it has weight."

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows and ate a spoonful of cake again. A very questioning spoonful.

"Weight," the angel said finally.

The explanation would probably get Crowley into another emotional rabbit-hole, so he kept his mouth shut and leaned back in his chair.

"I have to admit, my dear boy, for a moment I thought you were confessing your love to me-"

Crowley could only helplessly blink on that remark and try to avoid the topic altogether. "We eat cakes. We dine at restaurants. We talk about stuff. We get drunk." Shit. He wished he would be drunk right now so he could blame the wine for all this nonsense. "Seems so... insignificant but that's life." Crowley shrugged. "Moments like this." He suddenly felt vulnerable, exposed, and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. As if he hadn't just said that moments with Aziraphale meant more for him than the rest of the six thousand years.

Crowley finally looked at the angel's face. He looked... thoughtful. They sat in silence, Aziraphale thinking and Crowley pretending to be cool.

"I think I tend to agree with you, my dear," he paused as if there was a 'but' coming. "Though, strictly speaking, you hardly eat any cake."

Aziraphale's eyes twinkled cunningly, an innocent smile appeared on his lips, and that's when Crowley struck.

Faster than a blink, he moved a dessert plate to himself, snatched a spoon and put a remaining half-a-cake into his mouth, swallowing it whole - he was a snake, after all.

Aziraphale looked surprised, saddened and fascinated at the same time. "Oh, dear."

Crowley licked the cream from his lips, raising an eyebrow. The angel got a hold on himself. "You know we could get you your own slice if you wanted."

"But I only had one bite," Crowley leaned his elbows on the table.

Aziraphale laughed at that and shook his head. Then he hesitated for a moment and forced out a sentence he has been turning around in his head. "You made me feel very alive just now."

Crowley felt the weight of the words settling upon the fragile moment. He knew it wasn't easy for Aziraphale to say, even if it was a little easier due to the read romance books and being fifty years behind the times. Crowley averted his eyes but leaned on the elbows with more of his weight. He could still feel the cake sliding inside.

Aziraphale sighed and ordered one more piece, this time getting an extra dessert spoon and placing it so Crowley could easily take it if he wanted. He didn't but it still felt nice somehow.

**Author's Note:**

> Send me another number from [this list](https://mymiscfandomimagines.tumblr.com/post/165227911567/drabble-list-2) to [my ask](https://alien8muse.tumblr.com/ask).


End file.
